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Full Day Program Supervison/Leadership Program Keynote Presentations
VERBAL JUDO INSTITUTE, INC.
941-350-9559
FULL-DAY COURSE OUTLINE
MODULE ONE: Professionalism and Course Goals
We never met people willing to come to work where they
in turn will meet someone who will verbally abuse them or knock out their teeth
during an encounter. We simply must address the fact that the world can
be a dangerous place.
The very nature of dealing with people forces us to accept
that some will be less than polite in their choice of words, tone of voice, or
physical gestures and actions. People who lack the skills to calm and
redirect the anger of others are in jeopardy. Even past the physical
violence we know from our own experiences that verbal abuse is the most common
form of abuse in
What we say is directly related to complaints received
and litigious actions from our own ill-mannered behavior and words. Worry
over physical safety, how to explain complaints, and how to defend our actions
in court becomes very stressful. Activities outside our workplace cause additional
stress that may follow us back into the work environment. People under
stress pay less attention to safety, and the US Department of Labor agrees.
THE FACTS:
Ø
Up to 90% of all visits to primary care
physicians are for stress-related complaints.
Ø
Up to 80% of industrial accidents are
due to stress.
Ø
Over 50% of lost workdays are
stress-related.
Ø
At last reference, 14% of workers say
stress caused them to quit or change jobs in the past two years.
Ø
Worker's compensation awards for job
stress will soon threaten to bankrupt the system in some states.
Studies conducted on
the above statistics came from: "Employee Burn Out:
The course then begins by addressing important goals:
ü
Increased
Personal Safety
ü
Enhanced
Professionalism
ü
Decreased
Complaints
ü
Decreased
Vicarious Liability
ü
Decreased Stress
MODULE TWO: The Art of Representation and Developing a
“Habit of Mind”
We must, even under duress, never say the first thing
that comes to our lips. Allowing ourselves the privilege of saying what
we are thinking during high emotional periods may cause us to “MAKE THE GREATEST
SPEECH WE WILL EVER REGRET!
The Verbal Judo program enables participants to
deflect verbal barbs by teaching people to pay closer attention to overall behavior
than to the specific attitude of people. This will put us in a better
position to Generate Voluntary Compliance than if the event drops to a
“personal face” level. The professional attitude addressed in Module One
is now carried into a model of behavior we call The Art of
Representation. Caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place (the
employing organizations with rules and laws on one side and the difficult
person under some form of negative influence on the other side) people, much
like coal, shine like diamonds or explode from the pressure.
External things they cannot control often influence
people negatively, resulting in a “Box of Influence” that for a short while
will govern their behavior. The influences of not just drugs or alcohol
but anger, frustration, certainty or uncertainty, lack of money, inflated ego,
feelings of self-importance, or peer pressure to name only a few can create
monsters from otherwise decent people. Often, these people will play to
an audience or family and friends to get what they want.
Through a tactic called mediation we remove the
influences by thinking better for others than they might initially think for
themselves. We must do this if we are to generate voluntary compliance
and leave people better than we found them at their worst, the goal of any
community/government philosophy.
There is a relationship to what we say and how it is
understood, or in some cases misunderstood. We are not attempting to
teach communication as it would be taught in a collegiate setting, nor are we
totally oversimplifying the work of others. Module Three is an overview
the simple practice of communicating as a process and makes it understandable
in less than one hour.
The first “Truth” is succinctly put that the actual
opposite of talking is waiting, not listening, as most people currently and
mistakenly believe. Actual listening is a highly interactive and energy
charged process. The process is active and the Habit of Mind taught
earlier is crucial if we are to gather what people actually meant from what
they said. We discuss the four generally accepted steps in the listening
process and discuss them with participants.
The second “Truth” deals with who we actually are, how
we perceive ourselves and our own behavior, and lastly, how we are perceived by
the other person(s) in conversation.
The third “Truth” is devoted to the “delivery” of the
information. It brings to light the need to “sell” ideas or rules to
difficult people rather than simply expect them to do the right thing because
it makes logical sense. To difficult people, logical arguments are often
rejected out of hand because of emotion, as we will discuss later in Module
Four. We expound on the simple maxim offered up by our parents, “It’s not
what you say but how you say it that counts.” Fact is they were right.
Aristotle, the recognized founder of what we really
define as Rhetoric, used a series of appeals to gain compliance or create
understanding in why he was correct in his suppositions or theories.
These four appeals are inarguable and have been the source of getting people to
alter their behavior and thinking for centuries. They are:
1.
The Ethical
2.
The Rational
3.
The Personal
4.
The Practical
More people will do things for us because they like
us, respect us, or respect what we stand for than for any other reason.
The first rule of sales training is “Get the customer to like you.” This
personalization, or better phrased as humanization of the encounter, is crucial
if we are to separate them from their money, their time, or their cooperation.
In gaining compliance with rules or laws we must also be sales people who sell
compliance and not a product. We must appear credible to achieve this
goal. This is called the Ethical Appeal which is the source of our
personal credibility.
The Rational Appeal is based upon facts, data, and
evidence that are codified and legally enforceable. However most people
under an influence already see themselves as reasonable so we are often forced
to move from this appeal quickly. In fact, in most encounters we find
that being right does not necessarily make us right. We usually find the
more facts we heap upon the other person the angrier they become at both the
situation and at us. Once people calm down and reflect on the situation
they are more ready to listen to “reason.”
The Personal Appeal is very powerful and attaches to
the Ethical Appeal. In persuasion leverage is applied by relating what we
need to what they need, cutting across their experiences pictorially. The
keys to using the Personal Appeal are found in what people have to gain or
lose. Examples would be the gain or loss of:
1.
Time
2.
Money
3.
Family or Friends
4.
Reputation
5.
Value System
The careful use of these five work on the individual
so they can “see” the benefit of compliance. The Personal Appeal clearly
demonstrates what is in it for them if they comply. It works on the
personal selfish interests of the individual, which sadly, is a main source of motivation
for most people under an influence. They
are also the basis for coercion, which may not be our original thought but is a
valid motivator when they understand what they have to lose. How this is done is critically important to
those being coerced.
The Practical Appeal is a last ditch effort to gain
voluntary compliance. It can be asked as a question or may be an offbeat
strategy or tactic providing it does not violate the law or compromise our
integrity or safety.
The four appeals are the foundation of the Five Step
Approach. The five steps are:
1.
Ask
2.
Set a verbal
Context
3.
Create and
Present Options
4.
Confirm the
non-compliance
5.
Act appropriately
The four appeals work in tandem and harmony with the Five-Step
Approach. If we are required to move
beyond words we can take the appropriate action with the peace of mind that
there were no other viable choices at the time. The real buy in comes from
the benefits or advantages of the Five Step Approach.
The Ten benefits of the Five-Step:
1. It
gives the difficult person a choice. Some control over his or her
self-destiny is gained allowing them to save face. People like a choice,
even if there are only two and they don't like either of them.
2. It
sounds good to not only the individual but to everyone around. People
witnessing the event complain about your behavior if you handle others poorly.
The "Five Step" Approach is the most professional process available
for dealing with uncooperative people to gain their compliance or demonstrate
verbal persuasion has failed. The public can clearly understand why we
acted in a certain way and see what we did to avoid it. Often we create a
support mechanism from within the crowd.
3. It
looks good on your report, especially if you have used any option beyond words.
It meshes with SAFER at the ACT stage and creates an outline for the written
report. It reduces the creative report-writing element, because we no
longer need to worry about how to make ourselves look better than we actually
were during the event.
4. It
makes the reports we write easier to read and comprehend. The Five-Step
is the equivalent of an outline. It makes the report-writing chore faster
and more complete.
5. It
creates a support mechanism within the organization. Because we have a
protocol in place we have a consistent method of dealing with difficult
situations. People who were not there may be inclined to give you the
benefit of the doubt more often because there will be less fear about how the
contact was actually handled.
6. It
looks good in a court of law. The entire "Five Step" is
defensible. You can explain what happened at each step and why you moved
past the last step.
7. It
reduces the EGO effect. There is no reason to get mad because we know we
can move to the next step if necessary. People usually get angry when
points of view are different. We feel we have been helpful and courteous
and they think otherwise. Anger results when they have run out of ideas
to work out the issue peacefully. When and if we act we show professionalism
and a defined professional purpose as our reason.
8. It
creates the Art of Backup. We have warned our co-workers but not the individual
we are about to end the encounter. Another co-worker can enter the scene
and assist because they already know where you are in the process. This
looks helpful, even from the citizen's perspective by reducing the natural fear
and anxiety of having people gang-up on them.
9. It
creates a "style" of customer service. It gives us confidence
to handle future encounters knowing we have a better chance of being
successful.
10. We
lessen the stress of the job. The "Five Step", done
successfully, offer us the opportunity to go home and not worry about how we
will explain the encounter the next day. When we have handled an encounter badly, we tend to dwell
on it after the fact. If we are thinking about the previous encounter
then we are not thinking about the encounter we are currently involved
in. This diminishes both our attention to safety and our thoughts for
customer service.
ADD-ON MODULE: The Meet and Greet for the Initial
Encounter
When we meet people for the first time we can reduce both
stress and the potential for some of the conflict with a proper introduction by
setting a context for what we can do to assist.
Most people who need something from us enter the encounter with only a
part of the information necessary to resolve their problem. They require direction from the people who
work the inside of the system to help them get what they need. Consider that what people want is rarely what
they need. The Meet and Greet, combined
with the knowledge of how to use LEAPS (Module Five) can get information
quickly and efficiently so we can help people, get them on their way, and move
to the next problem. The Meet and Greet
also is a very effective way to move the other to the resolution phase when
used with the Five-Step.
MODULE FIVE: L.E.A.P.S., Five Tools for Persuasion
The LEAPS module is designed to ensure we understand
the issue or problem, that the other person also understands we understand, and
that we both depart knowing what will occur after we part company. LEAPS
contains the necessary information to project we are both listening and
empathizing with their difficulty. People will often work with us if they
truly believe we are working on their problem.
In LEAPS we list the five basic types of questions and
the two strategies to employ for keeping the other person calm and
compliant. It is the only part of the actual communication process that
can be viewed and is therefore important for not only generating voluntary
compliance at the time we interact with the difficult person but for gaining
future compliance if we meet again.
We also teach to only backup to the communication
process – paraphrasing as the process of relaying back what we heard and think
the other person meant in our own words and tones. We list fourteen power
tools and why they are so important in being effective as a communicator.
And, we teach the power of summarizing the encounter prior to ending the
communication to reduce future problems and misunderstanding by creating
direction, forecasting what is to happen and when, and finally stating the
important parts of the meeting in a such a manner that we sound decisive.
The acronym S.A.F.E.R. defines when we must cease
words and move to action. We do not define what the action should be if
you move beyond words as organizations have protocols and recourse already
established for such measures. SAFER concisely defines and sets the
context for the action to anyone who may need to be in the know. This is most effective in punishment or in
refusal of services.
1.
When the Security of people or property under our jurisdiction is in
jeopardy we must act.
2.
When are under personal Attack we must act.
3.
When unlawful Flight has occurred we must act.
4. When
we are at the point of Excessive Repetition and our verbal argument is
not working and is unlikely to work, we must act.
5.
If the situation of Revised Priorities where something of a higher
priority comes to our attention and requires our presence we must act on the
higher priority event.
The action taken must be in the best interests of
everyone involved where the law is the governing authority.
ADD-ON MODULE: The Means versus the End Argument
Learning to “think correctly” before we criticize or
condemn others for their thoughts and actions in an ethical imperative and we teach
how to do it well. The manner
of how we think before we speak is critical if we are to survive in a society
where suing has become the national pastime. We must be cautious of how
our professional credibility can be damaged by what we say. Using the
Habit of Mind learned earlier we now teach the manner of rhetorically breaking
down a line of reasoning to find flaws.
This thinking is called the (the) Means versus
(the) End Argument. It is a way to listen to powerful and persuasive
people to explore gaps in their planning or to see benefits in their
reasoning. The argument becomes a way to teach ourselves how to think
well so we are less likely to be discredited in our own plans, and as a way to
gain the confidence of the people above us. Avoiding of the appearance of
rash thinking is a prized skill in leaders.
The program is delivery based and the material brought
to life by dynamic, professional presenters. The classroom presentation
is lively, interactive, and filled with valuable information brought to life by
relating concepts, principles, and tactics to everyday life. We reach the
audience through humor and a unique way of patterning human memory so
participants can remember the information far longer than is usual for classroom
only participation.
As professional trainers, we have enjoyed success on
four continents. The latest book by Dr. Thompson is published in three
languages and sold around the world. Over 800,000 people have been
introduced to the tactics and strategies of Verbal Judo and our success grows
with each class of participants.
NOTE: There are also Half-Day programs available
for organizations with logistic and manpower issues where time to get people
into a training session is limited.
Although we would always prefer to offer people the benefit of a fuller
training day we understand and will happily accommodate you.
Please always bear in mind
that real problems are rarely solved by shortcuts and we have been around for
thirty years because we prefer to solve problems rather then just make
money. Often we have conducted shorter
sessions only to be asked back to complete the longer program. We offer no criticism when you pick the shorter
program but would like the opportunity to mention that we understand how often
organizations get burned on bad programs and a full day seems an eternity when
you have hired the wrong people or even good people with bad material. We have been around for this long with only
word-of-mouth to keep us in business for a reason. The final decision will always be yours and
regardless of the program you choose we will offer the very finest in both
material and delivery.
The Keynote and Break-Out
Session programs are tailored to the audience and we can do the general session
for the keynote and then break-out sessions where we will cover more specific
tactical information based upon the foundation we built the foundation during
the keynote. The break-out material can
be covered in repeat sessions or we can create add-on material so people get
the benefit of more material in shorter sessions. We can also work with your conference theme
or agenda. Call us for thoughts and
discussion.
Call Lee
Fjelstad with any questions.
Phone
941-350-9559
